Is this me? It's not me, right?

My kobo died mid-patch. I wrote for advice.

Suggestion one:-

Subject
software update killed reader
Discussion Thread
Response Via Email
Hi Emmzzi, We deeply apologize for this issue you're experiencing. To solve it, we suggest, you try performing an external manual reset. For more information on this, please carefully follow these steps: Manual factory reset: (if the device is not responding) THERE IS MORE THAN ONE WAY TO FACTORY RESET THE TOUCH (If there are lights, it can be reset, just be patient) •Be sure to hold the power button for 30 seconds to shut the device off. •Press and hold the home button and slide and hold the power button for 15 seconds . (If this doesn't work go to the next reset) •Press and hold the home button and slide the power button on and off rapidly until it restores (This one can be repeated until it restores) (If this doesn't work go to the next reset) •Press and hold the home button and slide and hold the power button and then rapidly press the home button. *Please hold the power on/off button for 30 seconds between each step taken to assure the device is off. Let us know the outcome.

The outcome was no joy. I advised of this. The next advice was...

Hi Emmzzi,

Can you please verify if you can still see the lights? If so, try it one more time, but this time follow these steps:

1. Hold the Power Button for 30 seconds to ensure that the device is off and release.
2. Hold the Home Button and do not release.
3. Rapidly slide the Power button for 45 seconds until the device restore.

If the device does not restore, let go of the home button and stop sliding the power, proceed to repeat steps 1 to 3 once again.


Let us know the outcome.

Is this not the equivalent of slapping the top of the telly until the picture stops being wobbly? Seriously?