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I have lost a family piece of jewelry. I still have a box of all the old engagement rings and pretty things that belonged to people, although they need a good clean.
The missing piece is not especially sentimental to anyone but me; and really only to me, and here is why.
When we were growing up, we were not poor, but paying school fees meant every penny was counted. I remember my mum's giant ledgers of budgets, down to the last carrot, and how she would sometimes have a moment of not-crying when I lost a button, so we needed to go to the haberdashers, and have to redo the plan. so not poor but *organised.* I am pretty sure this is why I do a budget tracker I update daily.
And then sometimes I would have an unexpected growth spurt, and very quietly, something shiny would disappear, and a new blazer would be there in its place. Or I'd get to go on a school trip we couldn't afford when it was first discussed. etc.
When I moved out, or not long after, I can't remember exactly when, mum gave me an old, broken gold bracelet, a heavy 5 bar chain one, which was for me to hang on to and mend one day if I wanted, or sell if I really needed to. I can't even remember whose it was originally.
That was my "safety net." Not for stuff like broken washing machines or holidays. Without her saying anything I sort of knew then, and am more sure now, that it was my "I have to leave right this minute and I have not one penny, but I have this, and I know where I can sell it." It was my train fare and week in a low rent B&B. Because even though I could always phone home, we fought, and sometimes my pride or their stubbornness and the family dancing I the "told you so" dance wouldn't let me.
Everyone needs that; no matter how safe in your relationship, no matter how good your bank account; everyone needs their emergency flight pot. Because you just don't know.
I know it is probably somewhere in the house, in a box hidden somewhere between moves. And I know it is not the most valuable thing ever. But now I am older, I also know why it was given to me, and am sad to have lost it for a while. But I do have the memory of one of mum's moments of foresight and wisdom.
The missing piece is not especially sentimental to anyone but me; and really only to me, and here is why.
When we were growing up, we were not poor, but paying school fees meant every penny was counted. I remember my mum's giant ledgers of budgets, down to the last carrot, and how she would sometimes have a moment of not-crying when I lost a button, so we needed to go to the haberdashers, and have to redo the plan. so not poor but *organised.* I am pretty sure this is why I do a budget tracker I update daily.
And then sometimes I would have an unexpected growth spurt, and very quietly, something shiny would disappear, and a new blazer would be there in its place. Or I'd get to go on a school trip we couldn't afford when it was first discussed. etc.
When I moved out, or not long after, I can't remember exactly when, mum gave me an old, broken gold bracelet, a heavy 5 bar chain one, which was for me to hang on to and mend one day if I wanted, or sell if I really needed to. I can't even remember whose it was originally.
That was my "safety net." Not for stuff like broken washing machines or holidays. Without her saying anything I sort of knew then, and am more sure now, that it was my "I have to leave right this minute and I have not one penny, but I have this, and I know where I can sell it." It was my train fare and week in a low rent B&B. Because even though I could always phone home, we fought, and sometimes my pride or their stubbornness and the family dancing I the "told you so" dance wouldn't let me.
Everyone needs that; no matter how safe in your relationship, no matter how good your bank account; everyone needs their emergency flight pot. Because you just don't know.
I know it is probably somewhere in the house, in a box hidden somewhere between moves. And I know it is not the most valuable thing ever. But now I am older, I also know why it was given to me, and am sad to have lost it for a while. But I do have the memory of one of mum's moments of foresight and wisdom.
